FIND LOVE WITHOUT LOOKING FOR IT

FIND LOVE TAROT RELATIONSHIP

 

As a Tarot reader, I read for many clients with relationship problems. We all want to be loved and give love in return, but it seems like a very hard thing to do. Many times when I look at the cards, instead of The Lovers, 2 of cups, 10 of cups, 10 of pentacles, or the World, I see 5 of cups, 4 of pentacles, 2 of wands, The Tower, The Moon, Death, 8 of swords, or 9 of swords…Not the best cards to characterize a good and functional relationship. Unfortunately, it is what it is: It is time to let my client know what the energies of her relationship are like. She feels something is wrong. She can see things are not working out as she would like. But she can’t figure out why and where things are headed. She is in trouble, AGAIN – it’s the same type of relationship she’s had before.

How can you—as a Tarot reader and her „counselor“ for the moment—respond in a positive and helpful way?…I am giving you a guide that can teach you what’s actually wrong and what needs to be fixed in your client’s life.

Are you a woman who wants to finally find true love? The right partner has been „avoiding“ you forever? Please, read this blog post because it may bring a positive change into your life. Perhaps, you think you know of a possible cause of your bad luck in love, but are you sure you are on the right track?

Let’s get started. Let’s examine one possible cause why the right partner hasn’t found you yet.

You have been looking for love for quite some time and even though you haven’t found it yet, you still hope the One is out there, waiting for you. I can tell you have looked for him/her everywhere: on the Internet, at work, your yoga center, church, or local grocery store. But still NOTHING.

It’s not that the One doesn’t exist or you are not meant to find your true love. From the psychological point of view, it is much easier to look for something you don’t give to yourself—in others. That something is LOVE.

Go to a mirror and look into your eyes. Say this to yourself, aloud:

„I love you. I really love you, [Your Name]. I love everything about you.“

Are you able to keep looking at yourself for a long time without finding something to criticize about yourself? It is okay if the thought of your staring at yourself unsettles you a little bit. The point of this exercise is to realize that if you truly love yourself, you will see the good aspects of yourself and not the not-so-perfect parts. They will be interesting and love-worthy—there is perfection in imperfection.

 

If you love yourself fully, you are able to create strong foundations for your relationships.

 

The relationship with yourself does come back to you over and over again. If you don’t feel self-love, if you don’t treat your body right, don’t talk to yourself with respect and love, it is almost certain someone else will remind you of that via difficult relationships, meeting complicated people, or experiencing toxic situations. Without a doubt, you will be judged, blamed, and criticized by the others. In return, they will drive you crazy. This scenario happens to remind you that self-love and self-respect are very important. They are the foundation of healthy and functional relationships. If your thoughts reflect what you believe, you will act in accordance with these beliefs. Consequently, your relationship will reflect your healthy relationship with YOURSELF.

It could be very hard for many of us, women, especially, if we grew up in a dysfunctional family. Growing up in a dysfunctional environment has taught you that you have to sacrifice your own desires and needs in order to get love. This creates a negative cycle: instead of feeling loved, you keep feeling misunderstood, devalued, and emotionally starving over and over again. In moments like this, you need to stop looking for love “outside” and start putting your focus “inward” (love starts within yourself). You will not reach success overnight. It is going to take some time because you are breaking a long-term habit. Be patient with yourself and work through the obstacles, problems, insecurities you will face from time to time, and STAY ON TRACK.

Here are the first baby-steps that will kick-start the process of learning to love your Self:

SET UP HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Learn to say “no” assertively. Be tactful, but firm. You’ve been taught to always be nice, but it’s gotten so out of hand, you are nice in situations that require you to take a stand and protect/defend yourself. Saying “yes” and doing what the others want from you all the time will only drain you, waste your time, and make you feel miserable about yourself. Setting up healthy boundaries requires time, a lot of practice, and conviction that you deserve to be respected. Don’t be afraid to say “no”!

EXPRESS YOURSELF

Do what bring your joy—paint, draw, read books, write, cook, exercise, walk outside, do gardening—do what you like and what keeps you in the present. Do it at least for 30 minutes a day. By doing so, you will keep in touch with the most important person of your life—yourself.

MONITOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND HEAR YOUR WORDS

Talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. If you talk negatively about yourself or you curse yourself, ask this, “Would I accept such a talk from someone else?” Probably not! It is important to think positive because YOU matter. Not only will it uplift your spirit and give your encouragement, it will also raise your self-love and self-value.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY

If your body wants to rest, listen to it and let it rest. If it tells you it needs nutrition, eat something healthy. It is so simple, but it is not easy. You tend to be busy, thinking about things and people. You tend to do things on the  go and put others first. You need to stop yourself and feel your body. What is it telling you? What does it want you to do? It is important to have a close relationship with your body. I don’t mean to be obsessed with it, but to be IN TUNE with it. That way you will have enough energy to say “yes” to yourself. You will gain more time for things you love to do; you will pay closer attention to what you think and say. You will become much less dependent on others because love and acceptance will come directly from you.

So, the next time you are looking at yourself in the mirror, accept yourself without prejudice and criticism. Give yourself love. Your best relationship starts right here.

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WHAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

WHAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Let’s talk about healthy relationships. Questions about relationships are the majority of my tarot readings. If you are a Tarot reader yourself, keep reading because it may give you an insight into why people do what they do and how to respond , what advice to give them.

If you are not a Tarot reader, that’s fine too. I think you will find this newsletter interesting. Something to ponder on…

Sometimes we decide to “save” someone who is unhappy. For example, you know a man whose girlfriend broke up with him. His heart is shredded; he needs healing—a full-force healing. In other instance, a girl has a broken soul and a man comes in to “save” her. But let’s think about it…does it sound right to you? Let’s consider this:

A healthy relationship starts with two healthy people.

It is a simple rule.

Healing has to happen within the each individual—alone. You can help this person a little bit, but I wouldn’t advice getting involved with him or her, unless this person is clear about what happened to him/her, what brought this need to heal.

A healthy personality acts within normal boundaries of behavior. It is a person who adequately expresses his or her emotions. It is someone who doesn’t undervalue his or her positive attributes and who is honestly aware of his or her weaknesses and accepts them. Every human being has strengths and weaknesses. Perfect people don’t exist. (((There are, however, too many neurotics out there. hehehe)))

An emotionally healthy person knows his/her needs, is able to talk about his/her feelings, express emotions, approach problem in relationships constructively, can love, and the most importantly: he/she accepts the responsibility for his/her happiness in a relationship.
It’s nobody’s responsibility to make you happy.

If you are constantly trying to save your partners, sacrifice something for the other person, live for someone,.. stop for a minute and think. Why are you doing this? What are your true motivations? Analyze your past relationships. Think about the problems you had with your parents. You may have gotten stuck in some repeating negative pattern.

It is understandable that not everyone is perfectly self-aware, but still, try to choose a partner according to your own level of maturity, not someone who is less emotionally self-aware. Make that effort. Let’s say you are emotionally mature and free on the inside (you possess inner calmness). You are neither very happy, nor extremely unhappy. The person next to you—your partner—represents big happiness (your are happy to have him/her in your life), but it is happiness that ADDS to your own happiness. If your partner leaves you, you will accept his/her decision and your life will be as happy as before. Yes, you will miss this person, but overall, your life will not be thrown into chaos. If your partner is on the same level of maturity, you both start your relationship on a conscious level. You both agree that you want to build something together into the future. You are on the same page. If you decide to end the relationship, it is also a conscious decision. You both simply move apart and life goes on. If one of you isn’t as mature as the other one, that’s when a situation happens.

At first, your immature partner admires you for your maturity. Then, the admiration starts turning into clinging. You may think there is nothing wrong with that. It’s normal, right? It’s nice hearing, “I can’t live without you”, “what would I do without you”. But one day, sometime in the future, you—the mature one—are going to grow tired of it. It’s because the main focus of the mature partner isn’t the immature one but his/her own life path and self-development. If you decide to leave your relationship, the other partner will collapse. You understand that the break up hurts on both sides, but you also know you cannot stay with someone just out of pity, obligation, or feelings of guilt…

The love of the clingy-one will eventually start to burden the mature one.

Yes, you can try to save; you can try to guide the other person to develop his or her maturity…This kind of thing happens often, when someone “guides” the other one toward maturity. However, speaking from my own personal experience, once you start walking the “saving”, “grooming” path, you will halt your own development and end up stepping from one foot to another: Not moving forward, but being stuck in one place. Some people want to play in the professional league; others are fine staying in the minor/amateur league. Neither one of them is better or worse than the other. They are just different. But two players of the same league will play a stronger game and will motivate each other to perform better.

When two minor/amateur league players play together, the results are not great, but it’s not a total catastrophe either. The personal growth of both players will probably happen more dramatically: through suffering, strong emotions (hate & love bordering on obsession), breakups, getting back together, etc. They will eventually learn their lessons and become more mature. The problem begins when the partners aren’t equally mature in the relationship.

This applies not only to you and me, but to your spouse, your parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends. Be considerate, empathetic, help, but don’t become a “crutch” for the other person.

You shouldn’t take on the responsibility for the other person’s happiness.

Nobody will do your inner work for you.

You can’t live a life for someone else. There will always come a day when a situation like this becomes a huge burden for someone whose goals reach higher. I am not trying to throw anyone under the bus, or stereotype people. I am just trying to give you some food for thought about relationships – perhaps you find yourself in this article, perhaps not…if not, great – if so, don’t worry, now you know what’s going on and you can change your situation.

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STRENGTH OF CHANGE

STRENGTH AND CHANGE(1)

I would like to talk about our inner strength, courage, fears, and doubts. When we feel insecure and we doubt ourselves, our will and inner strength start to fade. Everything that used to be crystal clear is now covered by fog and it is not easy to see things objectively, least of all with perspective. It is that state of mind when you truly want to change your life, but your doubts and fears are keeping you in place. The abyss in front of you is so great and full of uncertain futures that you simply cannot move.

Have you found yourself in such a state before? I am sure you have. I have, many times!

What can you do about it?

Let’s examine what is holding you away from change and let’s be honest about it. Is it fear? Fear of what? Is it fear of uncertainty, failure, bad development, making mistakes, or being more vulnerable than you are now? It is very possible one or more of these things will happen to you. Thanks to experiencing life to the fullest, someone or something can hurt you—but that’s the risk of life itself. That’s the reality of life—nothing is JUST good or just bad. Life is a Yin-Yang. There is a little bit of bad in everything good. We live and we overcome obstacles in between. People, who can’t find courage within themselves to live and love because of the risk of getting hurt in the process, don’t live—they are slowly dying.

On the other hand, it could be your fear of success! You may fear that you will gain something which will become very important to you. It’s a big, scary thought of losing what’s important to you. Someone may become jealous of you because of it and will want to take it from you. Or you are afraid of showing the world how unique you are. You are afraid of standing out from the crowd.

You have nothing to lose if you don’t risk anything (if you don’t show your uniqueness or dare to be different). However, you also don’t gain anything which means you don’t grow in any way. You will stay the same, in the same place in life, bored, self-conscious, unfulfilled, and with unrealized potential.

As soon as doubts and fears start to get a hold of you, you have to realize that this “scarecrow” isn’t real! It’s not real; it’s not here; it may live in the far future (REMEMBER:  the future hasn’t happened yet); or it may live in your mind, but IT IS NOT REALITY and IT IS NOT A FACT. A very good method to deal with insecurities is to image what is the WORST that can happen. Many times people realize that the worst thing that can happen is not as bad as it seemed at first and it would be no big deal if it actually happened. Once you realize the worst thing that can happen to you, release it to the Higher Power. Ask your spirit guides, your angels, God, or deceased loved ones to take it away from you—to pull it out of your aura. Then, bring your courage forward and take a leap of faith. Take a little step forward. Many times, this little step forward is all you need to do to start “rolling” toward your dream future.

Your fears and doubts may come back again and again. When that happens, you need to focus on the thoughts that bring you joy, strengthen you, and support your enthusiasm and positive expectations. Look forward to everything new; enjoy nice things; spend time with people who laugh with you. Keep the image of your positive future in mind and in the meantime, enjoy the present. Your potential is waiting for you. Leave the gray foggy place where your fears control everything—escape from your comfort zone.

Life is too short for procrastinating and too beautiful to be lived without joy and fulfillment.

TALK TO YOUR CELLS TO ACHIEVE HEALTH

TALK TO YOUR CELLS TO ACHIEVE HEALTH

Let’s communicate with our cells in a positive manner. Food for thought: If you try to stay with your consciousness in the present moment, you will notice that the time doesn’t move. You don’t lose any of it. It stays constant.

You live in the “here and now” and the events which are behind you could be perceived as events that are merely leaving your “here and now”. They free your space for the new—incoming—events you attract to yourself. It’s a never-ending cycle of energies—the old ones leave so the new ones can come in. So, what we create in the present time will eventually come to us.

If we claim that time takes away our youth or we grow old because of time, we attract energies that cause our bodies to grow old. I know there are physiological processes that cannot be prevented and death from old age is inevitable on this planet, but let’s think outside the box for a minute. Let’s engage philosophy and consider the power of our etheric body (our energy). Our body may grow older faster because we allow it. Our mind is a powerful tool that can cause either growth or demise. If we subconsciously send the “I am getting older with time” energy information to our cells, our body reacts. The cells transmit this information among themselves and as a result, we grow older faster or we feel so much older than we actually are.

We can prolong our life if we use the appropriate inner tools. When we are sick and we think we won’t get better any time soon, we send this negative energy to our cells. They, in return, spread it among themselves. We support the illness like this not the healing process. The low energy is prevalent and our cells copy this information throughout our body. They will only support that which is delivered to them.

Everything is interconnected with everything else inside us as well as all around us. We need to get more control over our mind. What helps is not ingesting too many unnecessary chemicals via food because they can block some of the positive energy we are trying to send to our cells. All in all, when we work with our energy, when we direct our mind in the right direction (something positive, something to look forward to), we won’t have to worry that life’s goals are impossible to achieve.

The STRENGTH Tarot Card

LET'S LEARN TAROT - STRENGTH

Learn Tarot -8- THE STRENGTH Tarot Card

This is a blog post about the Tarot card The Strength: key words, interpretation, Tarot card combinations. The goal of this post is for a reader to learn Tarot.

KEY WORDS

  • Desire
  • will
  • courage
  • instinct
  • passion
  • sexuality
  • physical strength
  • vitality
  • decisiveness;

Health: heart, circulatory system, sexuality and reproductive organs;

Reversed: anger, jealousy, uncontrolled primal desires, sudden and dangerous change of character;

INTERPRETATION

This card talks about the strength to do something or—the opposite—not to do something. You must figure this out from the question or situation.

This card appears very often at times when we are trying to suppress something or when we are fighting something—this fight is most likely within us. And so it talks about taming ourselves, getting our emotions under control, but it may also be about “breaking something over one’s knee”=forcing something. The cards that accompany the Strength will tell us whether we are managing our passions and emotions/reactions well or we are acting violently toward others or ourselves.

This is truly a card with a strong message. The card Strength depicts a brave woman who is able to tame the wild beast by her side. She has a tremendous amount of passion and strength contained within her. She can either use these abilities to her advantage or she can become overwhelmed and consumed by them.

We can use either our intelligence or inner strength to do and accomplish things. This card suggests that the motivation for our actions is courage and inner desire to do it. It is a natural part of us; it is a strong instinct embedded deeply in our psyche.

The mouth of the lion is full of teeth which shows us that we want to “bite into” an activity or project with vigor and nothing will stand in our way. We will simply “chew through” any obstacles or setbacks.

The energy that is present is directed toward any types of relationships. It is there where this energy can meet with its counterpart so they can interact and exchange their own instinctive energies. Therefore, the Strength card may be a sign that you need to increase your effort to get along or cooperate with your colleagues at work. If your Strength (your efforts) encounters problems and misunderstanding on the part of others, it may quickly result in rivalry. The Strength brings a new spark into love relationships (marriages and long-term relationships). The Strength is a strong source of energy. You must actively get a hold of it and direct it where you want it to go.

The Strength also characterizes teenage effervescence. It is the time of life when teenagers start feeling strong sexual desire. Sex has an unbelievable power to motivate people to do everything is their power to make their counterparts notice them. Of course, we don’t have to think only of teenagers in this context. The Strength comes out for anyone, any relationship, where sexual desire is very strong and the main motivator of people’s actions. It comes with a warning though. The human desire is wild at this time and requires a very strict control. Otherwise, there is a risk of doing things recklessly and that can result in uncomfortable consequence for all involved.

Don’t forget that The Strength can manifest itself also around you, in your environment. Perhaps it is going to be you who are going to be a target of someone’s desire. Pay attention to people around you and how they respond to you at this time. You may get surprised.

On a negative note, be careful sharing your desires with the one you want. This card may be warning you that you haven’t found the one—the partner who is right for you. You are merely forcing your will onto someone who doesn’t want it. You may be just trying to prove to yourself that you are not too rusty to feel desire. Or worse: you are trying to hurt someone or get revenge due to your anger and impulsiveness. Remember to be honest with yourself and your feelings. Impulsiveness will get you in trouble.

The Strength Tarot Card Interpretation

SYMBOLISM

The Strength tells us that the inner strength of a person is the highest way to govern oneself. Taming the wild beast, in some cases your own libido, requires a lot of self-awareness. This is represented by the fact that the scene is depicted in daylight. The Strength represents subconscious, desire, intuition, creative use of our will.

It announces two important things:

1. The one who gets this card is motivated by the need to act, love, and his or her intelligence more than fear (this is represented by the lady’s calm face expression and her white robe).

2. The person who gets this card is ready to start living again and become an active participant in society. His or her strength is used in those areas where it is needed the most. (The lady is wearing a wreath on her head as a crown which means that her strength blooms because she is able to control herself, her instincts, and primal needs).

TAROT CARD COMBINATIONS

Some combinations:

+ 7 to 10 of Wands = problems of the Ego and psychological blocks

+ 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, court cards of Swords = false beliefs of the Ego and wrong kind of assumptions/thinking about things

+ 3, 5 of Wands: being ready for action

+ 5, 7 of Pentacles: a sudden change of personality which could be dangerous

CONCLUSION

The Strength ads true passion and depth to your actions and interactions. The intensity can be very different so be prepared for strong experiences. Be on alert as well. The Strength is like fire—a good servant, but a bad lord.

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